Author Topic: Lupin Note[Potential Mature Fanfic Crossover(Incomplete)]  (Read 7843 times)

GATSU

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Lupin Note[Potential Mature Fanfic Crossover(Incomplete)]
« on: November 20, 2007, 02:41:51 am »
Ch.1:

"Shining a Light on a Shady Thief"

When he searched through the usual criminal records that evening, one name stood out in particular. The facial profile of this particular perp consisted of a silhouette! Furthermore, in spite of having a robbery, assault, and murder record a mile long, he was never caught.

The suspect's kills mostly consisted of casualties from an alleged gang war with the Nezumi Group. The Nezumis were known for shaking down the locals in the rural communities of Hokkaido. Consequently, the bad blood they created between them and the residents there caused any potential witnesses from the latter group to clam up whenever a fellow "Nezukuza" got wasted. And as long as no innocents were caught in the cross-fire, the law enforcement-as usual-looked the other way.

But one officer refused to give up the case. He was persistent beyond any reasoning. Now who does he remind me of?, thought Light to himself with a grin? Except that this detective wasn't known for being as together as L. In fact, he normally caught sight of-and lost track of-the criminal through sheer dumb luck, rather than the expert deductive reasoning used by Light's former rival. 

Unfortunately, due to admiration for the felon which bordered on hero-worship, no one was talking to Chief Inspector Zenigata.
Unlike the Nezumis, the robber was able to buy favors for the denizens of the town with(most of) the dirty money he swiped during his raids. And whenever he did get a lead, the detective was usually out-smarted by his prey. Finally, to add insult to injury, he usually got away after he announced his crimes.

Like Light, the arrogant bastard would write his own little notes-calling cards, really. They were usually sent to the proprietor of the loot which he intended to swipe. And they were generally written like so: "Good day, sir! I have chosen to purloin your valuables this evening. Do not bother calling the police, as I will likely trip them up and get your goods before you even know it! Thank you for your time and patience, and I'll try to put on a good show for your security. See you soon! ^_^ Sincerely, Arsene Lupin III"

But this time, it was going to be different. The burglar has treaded on Light's territory, and if he wasn't on good terms with Light, his ass was as good as dead.  Just a few days ago, he contacted Takashamiya, and announced his plans to swipe their tree. Since this was near the station, Light had jurisdiction over the case, and would see to it that he would succeed where the others failed. 

"But if you don't know what he looks like, and you don't want 'The Eyes', how are you going to catch him?" the gargoyle-like demon asked Light as he leaned over his shoulder. "Oh, I'll just have his hound sniff him out for me!" replied Light. "Aizawa, connect me with Interpol, please! I'm going to take a break from looking after Kira to stop a robbery-in-progress." "Whatever you say, Light", the harried officer answered, as he shuffled through the massive paperwork on his desk, in order to find the number.



« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 02:58:19 am by GATSU »

Geist_MD

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Re: Lupin Note[Potential Mature Fanfic Crossover(Incomplete)]
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2008, 08:21:28 am »
You know what's awful? Not one guy has said anything about this, and it's so rare our fan works area gets any lookeloos, that's darned hurtful. So here's the shadow that flaps in the night to help out.

Let's get the bad stuff out of the way. It's kind of confusing if the reader doesn't know what each thing refers to, and a good crossover should be clear to fans from either series, with injokes/references to each respective side. Comics do this a lot, with varying results.

Continuing, maybe this one's an extension of the previous paragraph, but your wording is wonky and kinda hard to follow. Here's an example:

"Just a few days ago, he contacted Takashamiya, and announced his plans to swipe their tree. "

Now, links disrupt the flow of any good fanfic, but that's beside the point. "He contacted" is pretty vague, and although you don't need to refer to each character as their name all the freakin time, you could say instead "the little weasal", since we probably wouldn't associate Light as being a weasal, and since most of the narrative is from Light's third-person perspective.

The good news: You've got a great grasp on english, which is a bigger deal than a lot of folks would believe in THOUEST REALMST OF FANFICTIONORY, and the idea of a different inspector/cop after Lupin is an interesting one because of the unpredictability factor.

Another cool thing is it doesn't open with Lupin rescuing a damsel or...Lupin at all, really. clarify who's who, a little tidying up, and you're going places. Good Luck!

~The Geistster
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GATSU

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Re: Lupin Note[Potential Mature Fanfic Crossover(Incomplete)]
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2008, 10:30:44 am »
Geist: Thanks for your input. ^^ I was intentionally being vague to add to the suspense. I'm still working on the where I want to take this one.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2008, 10:32:32 am by GATSU »

Geist_MD

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Re: Lupin Note[Potential Mature Fanfic Crossover(Incomplete)]
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2008, 02:52:31 pm »
Geist: Thanks for your input. ^^ I was intentionally being vague to add to the suspense. I'm still working on the where I want to take this one.

Cool, cool. Just be sure to give us an update soon as you think of something!
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GATSU

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Re: Lupin Note[Potential Mature Fanfic Crossover(Incomplete)]
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2008, 04:31:25 am »
Ch. 2:

"Now you're playing without power."

"So you're saying that he not only got away again, but that he managed to rob an entire warehouse full of Wii systems and sell them at inflated prices on E-bay through a hacked and untraceable account?! And then, a few weeks later, he managed to do the same thing with pirated copies of Metal Gear Solid 4 he burned on a zip disk?! Man, Iwata and Kojima are really gonna chew my ass out over this shit..." The grizzled and obese officer rubbed his temples as he contemplated how he could get over this latest development in incompetence. [Or 'Interpol incompetence', as those f**kers at The Sun liked to remind him every time they used a goofy photo of his top investigator as the header for articles covering high-profile robberies the organization failed to prevent.] Then he ruminated on which color Hair-In-A-Can[TM]  would go best with bald spot, and whether the host of that infomercial took checks.

"But, Chief", his subordinate countered, while sweating bullets,"it isn't a total loss! Now, we finally know that the identities of The Patriots are..." Rudely woken up from his pleasant fantasy of a manageable mid-life crisis, the director bellowed, "Goddammit, Detective, I blew almost a thousand bucks on a console which only has one game worth playing right now, and I'm not about to let you spoil the ending for the other one! Do I make myself clear?!" "Y-y-yessir!" the officer reflexively saluted in response, while unwittingly knocking a massive stack of files off the desk in the process. Noticing the unintended clutter on the floor, the clumsy detective tried to re-organize the mess, but the chief's piercing scream stopped him in his tracks. "Never mind that!" he exclaimed. "You've got a new case, and-more importantly-another chance to redeem yourself." ( And get out of what's left of my hair for a while, the chief thought to himself, while he counted to 10.) 

"Sir! You don't mean...!" the officer clasped his superior's hands together, waiting in anticipation for the orders which would offer him his next opportunity to capture the bane of his existence. "Yes, I do mean him. I honestly don't know why anyone who screws up as badly as you keeps getting hired to go after the guy who keeps beating you at your own game, but you're needed again: This time in Japan. You will report to Chief Yagami, who will brief you on the details of your next case. Don't  blow it." Releasing his grip, the detective threw his fedora in the air while yelling "Yippee!", and then slammed the filing cabinet down so he could tap-dance on it. After five minutes of this spontaneous behavior, he noticed the steam coming out of his boss's ears, and, blushing in response, he put the cabinet back in its place, straightened his tie, coughed and said, "Excuse me, sir. I..." "I don't care about your life-story. Just get out there and bring me his head on a pike! You got that, Inspector?!" "Yessir!" he saluted again, before losing his balance with the sheets on the floor, sliding head-first into the glass door of the office, and then shattering the name tag on the door into millions of tiny pieces. "Just think of retirement...think of retirement..." was the mantra the chief chose to use as his weapon to stave off his rising blood pressure.

« Last Edit: March 28, 2008, 04:14:15 am by GATSU »

hentaifreak

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Re: Lupin Note[Potential Mature Fanfic Crossover(Incomplete)]
« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2008, 06:17:05 pm »
 :o WOW. This is creepy weird, I was just talking about doing a Lupin/Death note crossover fanfic to my friend last week or so...... Must read more....


::edited for smileiedge::
« Last Edit: March 31, 2008, 06:22:03 pm by hentaifreak »
Groovy!

GATSU

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Re: Lupin Note[Potential Mature Fanfic Crossover(Incomplete)]
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2014, 12:31:21 am »
Ch. 3: "It's hard out there for a Klutz.

After a long and bumpy flight, Zenigata Keibu was once again back home in Tokyo. Unfortunately, he dropped his calling card in the local squat toilet, and he was forced to dial collect, since his request for small change was also denied at the currency station where he converted his Euros to Yen. What's worse, Tot-san was in for even more bad luck, as the operator connected him to Matsuda Touta, the most hapless cop on the force. That guy was so clumsy at his desk job, that he made Barney Fife look like Jack Bauer. "Hey, guys, how do you access that database for invitees, again?", Matsuda yelled over the loudspeaker, while shattering Zeni-kun's eardrums in the process. Groaning in response, and then bellowing, "Not again, dammit!", Matsuda-san's superior, Aizawa Shuichi, stomped over to the cubicle, and clicked on the police calendar which confirmed Zenigata's attendance that day.

"Oh, yeah!", replied Matsuda. "Thanks, sir!" "So, um, Mr. Genikato, do you need us to pick you up, sir?" "It's Zenigata!", fumed the detective, already irritated at having to wait this long to confirm his appointment. "And, no, I can thumb a cab, thank you!" But just as the ICPO agent stepped out of the airport to hitch a ride, he realized that he stepped too far over the dividing lane, causing a car to screech to a halt in front of him, and thereby leading all the cars behind it to brake and rear-end each other. "Sunuvabitch!", the perpetually unlucky oyaji growled! So after waiting for 3-6 hours for the police officers who showed up, anyway, to make a report, Zenigata was finally whisked to Tokyo Metro, where he had to be rescued from a stuck elevator. Since it was going to be a while, he needed to go, again, but the whole ordeal made him too tired to hold it in, and he consequently wet his pants while he nodded off.   

But the sound of metal grinding apart woke him up, and he noticed it was coming from the Jaws of Life and the blowtorch of the elevator repairman. Elated that he was finally freed from that tuna can, he stepped out of the doors, only to find that the damn thing was still crammed mid-way in the elevator shaft. Thus, Zenigata was forced to cling from the bottom of the elevator doors for dear life, before the operator finally pulled him up, and took him to the right floor.

Covered with sweat, dirt, and the smell of urine, Tot-san was a sight to see as he entered Light Yagami's office. But, acting like nothing happened, he asked Light's secretary to buzz him in, to which she replied that he was over a day late for his meeting with the Chief. Stammering and sweating profusely in response, the OL grinned and replied, "Just kidding, Sir! We know all about your mishaps on the way here, and our office would be glad to take you to a good to place to eat, on us!"

"It's ok, Miss!", Tot-san said, as he held out his hands in front of him to negate the offer. "Just cop me some ramen from the local 7-11, and we're square...Uh, waitaminute! I didn't go to Tokyo for free eats. I came here at the request of the Chief, regarding a special crime ring investigation! Is Mr. Yagami available?" "Actually, Light-kun went home for the evening, and won't be back until tomorrow morning", the administrative assistant answered. "But if you come back tomorrow morning, he'll be ready to see you again, Zenigata-san. Of course, given that the elevator's out of shape, you'll have to use the stairs both ways. I hope ten flights is not too much for you, Sir!" And with that, she tried to suppress a smirk in the corner of her mouth. "No problem! See you tomorrow, then!", Zenigata shouted, while quickly spinning around to hide the free-falling tears which flooded his face. And as he ran to the staircase, he accidentally tripped, and then,trying to protect himself, rolled to the bottom floor, where he hit the wall, and was put into another sleep, while the office regulars simply ignored him and stepped over him, sometimes misssing, and accidentally hitting him with their feet.

Update: Hey, waddya know? Someone did try to jack an early copy of an MGS game.  ;D